My life is apparently in one of those “holding patterns” at the moment. It’s rare to hit a patch where every aspect of life is being delayed – work, home, health, hobbies, everything. But that’s what I’ve got. Yay, karma. Times like these frustrate the hell out of me. I want things done when I want them done. I’m happy to pay for them to be done when and how I want them. (It’s why I put up with a sucky workplace). But all these plans depend on other people getting around to it. The realisation that I can’t do this because …forms have gone missing; noone answers their phone; information isn’t forthcoming; systems are not configured so that they work correctly; the whole is not completed with the sum of the parts provided with the instructions; or my personal favourite – bickering childishness – he said, she said. Arghhhhhhhh!
Don’t get me wrong, I can procrastinate along with the best of them. I am slow and methodical in doing things. I don’t move quickly – needing to research each part of an entire project before beginning the first step. But when I’m ready to go, when the plans, small window of time, my money and a sliver of opportunity is there – aligned – and someone else yells “WHOA!” I could take their head off with a cricket bat. Truly.
There’s got to be a way to shift something. Get someone else moving. All I need is for one element to move in a forward direction and I’m sure, Pied Piper-like, the rest would follow to see where it’s going. It makes such a difference to my attitude and outlook to have something moving. I need a positive perspective to get me through my day, but it’s difficult to muster one when it seems that everything is stalled.
In the past I’ve driven myself into the ground trying to insert a plug of dynamite under immovable objects. It only ends up giving me migraine. So I am trialling taking a deep breath in and lowering my shoulders while I breathe out. It seems all I can do is keep chipping away at the things I can do myself. It doesn’t get anyone shifting any quicker, but it certainly lowers my blood pressure.
I think too much. Some topics go round and round my head so much I don’t remember what started it.
I am the sort of person who likes to be prepared. I plan. I plan everything. I plan what might happen. I plan what won’t happen in a million years. It’s not all bad. Sometimes I crack myself up completely. I have been busted rolling around on the floor. And I’m ok with that. I don’t mind if you think I’m nuts.
I like daydreaming. I like my imagination. I don’t mind that it gets whatcha might call “fantastical” at times. But I don’t like to worry. This I do too much. It affects my sleep. It hurts my head. It makes me grind my teeth…which also hurts my head.
So, in the name of the institution of New Years resolutions, I begin my trial of the “great written dump”. Each night I’m going to fill a page of what happened that day, maybe what might happen tomorrow, shopping lists, a knock-knock joke – whatever is rattling around my stupid noggin. I’ll put it all down and lay it to rest. I’m hoping sleep will come easier to an empty head.
A salute to Jeremy Piven for this photo. Ain’t it the truth though? “Oh woe is me” has never been so prevalent…First World Problems they’re called. Where’s our sense of perspective gone? Have we forgotten where we come from? We grew up in houses – not in mud huts. We were dry and clean and warm. Do we not look at those around us – all struggling with problems of their own – or do we look straight through them?
I refuse to believe Australia is getting to the point where everyone who has more “haves” than “nots” doesn’t give a stuff until it’s them that loses out. There’s a lot of community spirit around, I see it everyday. I’ve been in workplaces where it’s the lowest paid members of staff who always “bring a plate” to celebrate life’s milestones. I’ve been in workplaces where the top dog earning nearly $200k a year can’t put a bottle of plonk on the table – because the tank in his beemer is nearly empty.
What’s the minimum you need? A roof, a job to pay for it and you and your family healthy. Period.
Today’s lesson is that we’re never on our own, never really the first at anything. Someone has always gone through what we find ourselves faced with. And there’s a comfort in that. If other people can deal with my problems and come out the other side then so can I.
We’re not “Pat Malone”. Someone has done it before us. The context might be different, but the experience is the same the whole world over. And you know what, others come through it with less support, less resources, less education, health, wealth and security then we’ve got. Being mindful of that gives a perspective that is priceless. Hang on to it.
Work has been a little unsettled of late. There’s a reshuffle going on with the higher paid members of the office community – not that anyone is saying anything. It’s like the powers that be are more happy to shift everything on paper and then tell the pieces the news and suffer the fallout.
I am one of the pieces. So how do I deal with being the last to know when it’s my 8 hours a day that’s changing? Beats me actually – I don’t do it that well. I go back to the important principles of leadership. The things I value in a boss – honesty, straight-forward info, handshakes, open communication and telling it like it is to the face of the person that it is too…if that makes sense. Basically I think I expect the kind of behaviour that doesn’t get delivered in times like these.
My “Queen CLM” title (ie. career-limiting-moves) comes from my not being able to look a game-player in the eye once I see how they make their moves. I lose a lot of respect for people very quickly. I know they don’t care about it – but I’ve never been good ~ never will be good ~ at pretending how they play the game doesn’t matter.
I don’t smile when someone’s blowing smoke up my arse. And I sure as hell don’t thank them for it. But, that’s my problem – so I buy myself some roses and sleep well at night. Not sure how they sleep – but that’s their problem.
It’s from here that the shots are called and the menu is planned, prepared and distributed to the guests. It’s important to remove yourself and sit back to consider the options. Who’s best with who and who’s not getting along with the others. Planning time. It’s very important – particularly when this place is more like a spa resort than a chook house, really.
I’ve been thinking about perspective…
If you consider the individual parts that make up an adult life are:-
> work – the what, the where, the who (oh my goodness!), the rules, quirks and the whhyyyyyy
> home – the where and the how of living the life you choose
> people – I’m not gonna lie, I am the sanest person amongst my family and friends 🙂 and
> ‘things’ – whatcha got, what’s busted, what works and what I want
then these four areas in my life are all on the move at the moment. Not exactly teetering (not yet), just wobbling a bit.
I feel the need to fix everything – to sort situations out then and there. All gunho and doin’ the stuff. I think most adults do. In watching others deal with the odd curve ball, I try to emulate how they stay grounded and focussed – to not get wound up or beaten down.
So, I’ve begun my very own Jedi mindtrick – telling myself to breathe. Consciously, deliberately, drop my shoulders down and B R E A T H E. Maybe by the end of my 366, I’ll have figured out how to manage it without so much effort…or I’ll have lost my marbles trying.