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What I need is a retreat, fully catered, in a 5-star resort complete with free bar and complimentary massages, that is designed to support me in ripping out recipes from all my cooking magazines.

I need emotional encouragement to tear out pages and choose which side of the page to display. I need professional advice on whether to scan and print, or keep everything electronic. And what about indexes/contents pages? What about them!?!?

I need examples of organisation systems – display folders sorted by season, by magazine title, by ingredient… I need counselling through all these life-impacting decisions. Because they’ll live with me for the rest of my life.

Basically, I need someone else to do all this for me – is there a consultant I can buy for a week?